I’ve decided to chronicle the next 6 days of travel as per my usual dull writing style, so I apologize if you are actually reading this- you don’t have to, I understand.
Jeff and I are currently on the train (a fiasco in and of itself) but I will address that insanity later. We are embarking on an eight-hour booze fueled (and might I add FREE) trip to Ottawa to the Disability rights conference. (like we need a reason to visit the splendors of Hott-awa).
We ran into HF in the train station who was heading to Toronto for the day and had a brief chat. Once the train arrived I loaded our bags onto said locomotive and spent approximately 20 minutes trying to open the door to our car, while they strapped Jeff into some obscure medieval ramp to get him into the train. Once in the train they asked me if I would like to sit with Jeff, or if I would be okay with banishing him to the baggage department. So being the usual pain in the ass I am, I had them move the chairs so we were facing each other. I mean lets be real, 8 hours with no company but myself? Of course I was going to subject Jeff to that!
Food and libations followed, and were impeccable of course. Then I got the BBM from HF asking if I knew where any of the train attendants were. I went back with my 2nd rum and coke, and a chocolate gannache and we chatted briefly. I was shocked to learn that the attendant had only been to visit her once (as the train left london), and had not returned (sidebar: I had come across this man 10 minutes earlier, he was furiously typing on some phone and looked like he might decapitate someone…)
We then ventured to find that man, who very rudely responded that he only comes by once, and if you need anything else you are to try and find him. I guess it was pretty rude of us to ask for a train attendant to provide beverages to their customers, but I guess I’m just old fashioned like that. I mean, the man wouldn’t even give her a water, and was being such a queen- and not in the classy Kate Middleton way.
Fearing for my head, I began heading back to my seat I chatted with a lovely pair of flamboyant train attendants who were mulling over the crossword (which I have obviously already completed). The kind men informed me that “Renee” (train attendant from coach) had just got into an alcohol fueled domestic with his lover Michael, and was in a very foul mood. Conrad even went on to inform me that Renee was a man who “cycled more than a dormitory of women” and was often a raging bitch. At last it makes sense. I should have given him my wine and collection of sappy chick flicks that I stocked up on for this eight-hour ride. And maybe i could ask the collection of middle-aged women learning how to use laptops would have some sedatives for him…
But the socializing must end, so I returned to my seat to find my drink still there, :D ah if this is any indication of how this “work-ation” will be, I anxiously look forward to the rest of it!
More later! (hopefully… if you know me you’ll recall that I have severe ADD and will likely be knitting for the rest of the trip.)